So we were pulling into San Diego one time in early 1991. I'd come off the midwatch, passed out, and missed quarters only to be awoken by a somewhat perturbed junior officer. "Gee-frigging-whiz," I thought, "so what, I missed quarters." It turned out that was the least of my worries.

The next thing I knew, I was being interrogated by a number of junior officers about the fluorescent green tinge now spreading rapidly in the No. 2 Engineroom bilge. It seems that some brilliant squid had dropped a green sea dye marker into the bilge creating a most striking "glow" in rising water.

We were just a few miles from the mouth of San Diego Bay and everyone was freaking out because the bilges would need to be pumped. Imagine the reaction of your average San Diegan to bright green spew pouring out of the Navy's first NUCLEAE cruiser! Did I say "brilliant?"

I could barely contain myself. Of all the gags pulled in the name of antimonotony, this was classic. Sadly, I could not take credit. Nor could the other individual pegged as the co-conspirator. At least I'm pretty sure he couldn't take credit. My DO was utterly conviced that we had done it, repeating, "just admit it and maybe you won't get in too much trouble." "We know you did it!"

Why were we the prime suspects? Because we had "bad attitudes." Why did we have bad attitudes? Because we were the division short-timers with no interest in re-upping. Sad , sad, sad.

If you are the guy who happened to pull this one, and sat back while Chuck and I took the fall, well... my hat is still off to you. They never could prove anything and nothing else was ever said about it to us. I would say, that if you really wanted to make any impact, you might of thought of this when that little Zodiac was boycotting us in Yokosuka, or when the protestors were lined up on the pier in Hobart! Hmmm... I always wondered why our visit to New Zealand was canceled.

By the way, they let the bilges fill up to the deck plates and then waited until night fall to begin pumping them down. Brilliant.